The 10 Things I'm going to do the week I get back to America

1. Immediately go to a mexican restaurant where the burrito is as big as my head and I can eat all of the salsas.

2. Wear sweats outdoors for 3 days straight and have no one judge me, because I'm now absolutely exhausted of putting (the already incredibly small amount of) effort into wearing clothes.

3. Find my rain boots that I had to leave at home, and then proceed to find a large puddle.

4. Put my already clean sweatpants and socks on a 15 minute drying cycle, then take them out and immediately put them on.

5. Drink an amazingly beautiful amount of hard ciders.

6. Walk down the isles of kroger and wonder why I ever left that many selections of peanut butter.

7. Realize that everything I say in rapid english - including slang - can be understood by everyone around me and subsequently become much quieter.

8. Cry because the luxury taxes on feminine products are soooo ridiculously high in the US.

9. Order a black coffee and do a spit-take and shout “CHE SCHIFO. QUESTO NON E’ CAFFE’!! QUESTO E’ UNA BESTEMMIA. UNA PIAGA. UNA PIAGA SUL TUTTE LE VOSTRE CASE!!”

10. Scream internally as I walk down the wine isle at the liquor store, where the cheapest bottle (carton) of wine is probably around 10 dollars.